Momfinitions! Language of a Mom...

ParentsConnect.com has asked some of us blogging Mommies through a contest at Twitter Moms to share some of our Momifinitions by writing a post on our blogs with our funniest five Momfinitions including a description of their meanings. I thought this was a great idea since there are so many I have used over the years (with the oldest being 16), I knew I had some pretty great ones to share.

As a parent of 3 boys, my momfinition list could be pretty long. I have had 16 years of creating words and phrases that my children have learned and completely understand that are not in the dictionary. Please allow me to share few with you...

There are countless times when my children walk into the bathroom while I was using it. Why don't I lock the door you ask? Well, because I feel that if an emergency happens, perhaps I would be able to run out the door with my pants around my ankles...probably not such a good idea, but you never know what could happen, especially with my kids...hence how one of my best momifinitions came about -

Mushbeard [mush-beered] - a combination word of mustache and beard which describes what a woman's private parts look like. How it came about? One of my children walked in on me while I was pulling my pants up and said "Mommy, you have a mushbeard down there!" That is what we call my private parts now, although we do use proper terminology for boys because of my youngest's sons condition.

My middle child likes - no HAS to touch everything (it's his autism), and it can get pretty frustrating when he is near me picking up the stapler, eye-balling my ever-growing paper pile, opening the drawers on the office supply organizers we have, he just wants to touch everything; and so I began another momifinition -

Nachos [na-chose] - This term means that what you are touching is not yours and it's implication is to put it down immediately. As soon as one of my children begin to grab at something that does not belong to them, I simply tell them "Nachos" and they hand it over.

Here's another one I frequently use -

Nonya [non-yah] - I use this when my children ask me questions with answers that are none of their business...such as -

Child: "What are you and Daddy talking about?"

Me: "Nonya."

Child: "What are you eating? (As I'm eating some chocolate which I don't often let them have, yet is my weakness.)

Me: "Nonya."

Have you ever been so flustered by your kids (for those that have more than one) that for some odd reason, you can't remember their name? This is, in my opinion, a momifinition that has been around for centuries, yet still used by many, many mothers -

Watsurname [wats-yor-name] - When a child is doing (or not doing) something that was told, it is an attention grabber in conjunction with a mixture of all your children's names. In my house, it is frequently used as "KyTimMer....watsurname....blonde headed child?" I add in the color of hair so that the child I am speaking to knows it is their attention I want.

The last one I will share with you is the one that is used in our home on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis -

Elephantitis-of-the-feet [ele-fant-ti-tus of the feet] - This is a condition my teenager has when he is coming down the stairs. Momifinition - heavy-footed steps that echo through the house when tromping anywhere.

Child - [tromp, tromp, tromp, tromp}

Me- "As usual, you have a case of elephantitis of the feet, please walk softer next time."

I'm even going to throw in an extra one that I have used for 16 years -

Buttwipes [but-wipes] - These are diaper wipes used for many different things. It originated with the use of wiping butts, but later evolved into an all-inclusive wipe including hands, faces, feet, ice cream on shirts, the list could go on.

Child - "Mom, I'm done going poopies!!"

Me - "Where are the buttwipes?"

Child - "My hands are all sticky!"

Me - "Well, go get the buttwipes."

They are great for travel with kids of all ages, especially long trips!

I hope you all enjoyed my Momifinitions! Now comment away on what you think of them, are they known to you and what some of your are!

Stefanie

Co-owner of Mom's Most Wanted