Sunday, October 4, 2009

Live...life IS special

If you've read any of my blog, you know that I love inspirational stuff. I got this email from my mother which I opened today and wanted to share it with all of you. I'm learning everyday how not to wait for the perfect time and to live in the moment. Not knowing if my youngest will live to see adulthood is my reality and we don't "wait" to live...

A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:

'This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package.'

He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.

'She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on , was saving it for a special occasion.

Well, I guess this is it.

He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died.

He turned to me and said:

'Never save something for a special occasion.

Every day in your life is a special occasion'.

I still think those words changed my life.

Now I read more and clean less.

I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.


I spend more time with my family, and less at work.

I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through.

I no longer keep anything.

I use crystal glasses every day...

I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if I feel like it.

I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.

The words 'Someday...' and ' One Day...' are fading away from my dictionary.


If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now...

I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell.

I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.
She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels.

I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food.

It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come.


Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.

Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one.



Stefanie

So much to say....yet not much to tell...

Ok, so, we went to the nephrologist and had a kidney scan done. It was not a pretty sight. Luckily, this time Little M was sedated. Last time was a nightmare. I don't mean any 'ole nightmare...I mean heartbreaking, soul crushing, yelling, screaming and crying kind of nightmare.

After he was sedated, which the medicine they used the nurse's call "milk." It is a white medicine that is supposed to make you drowsy and fall asleep, but can be easily woken up. Not only that, but it is supposed to help you forget about what happens, in other words, him being cath'ed again. Well, it took the child 5 doses of the stuff to knock him out. The nurse's and tech's were amazed at how much it took.

Finally, he was out and I watched the nurse like a hawk as she cath'ed him to make sure it was being done in a sterile fashion. Last time, we ended up in the hospital for 5 days with a life-threatening kidney infection from a non-sterile cath. Even with all the sedative in him, he still squirmed and winced when they put a cath in him.

After all was said and done and he was out and cath'ed, my eyes were glued to the screen, watching as the lasix went into his kidney as I sat right next to him, holding his foot. I watched as the lasix went into his kidney and then down through the tube that connects the kidney to the bladder (ureter). At one point, the nurses/techs said "Oh, it's going into his bladder now." I said, "Nope, not yet." Sure enough, sadly I was right... His ureter filled and finally the contrast went into his bladder. His ureter was so big and with this only kidney he had, let me just say, it wasn't very good.

I waited a week for the doctors to call me to find out what the next step would be. I got a call back from the urologist pretty quickly (same day!) and he said that Little M's ureter wasn't so good. The doctor wants to be on the conservative side because another surgery having to do with the ureter could make things worse instead of better. Little M's ureter is like a balloon full of water with a little tiny leak. The balloon tries to empty through this little leak but stays full because the hole doesn't get any bigger. The urologist is afraid that if he makes the little hole any bigger than it could lead to urine refluxing (going back up) in to the kidney.

The urologist suggested a test that will show Little M's true kidney function, but the nephrologist has to order it. So far, even though I absolutely love Little M's nephrologist, still no call back from him. I will be following up with him this week though.

The plan was to have the catheter out before Little M woke up, but that didn't happen. He woke up just a little bit too early and the nurse took it out while he was awake. Not a pretty sight. Like I said before, the medicine was supposed to make Little M forget what had happened....well, not my little one!

Later, after he was coming out and we had gotten home, I asked him what he remembered and he told me just about everything that had happened. I was in shock. Luckily, I keep meds on hand for painful urination and he took the meds pretty well. Probably because he is getting older and can understand a little more.

So....that's what has happened so far. The plan? Once I get a hold of the nephrologist, we will get the test ordered. After we get the results of the test, we will then test Little M about 3 months later and see if the numbers change. If the numbers change, then we will decide what to do after that. Options are limited and it looks as if he is headed for dialysis within the next 10 years (if we're lucky, otherwise, sooner).

For now, it's the hurry up and wait game.... this game SUCKS!

Stefanie

Friday, September 25, 2009

Watch the time

I've been having some issues from my teenager about him checking in on time. His excuse??? He doesn't have a watch. Oh, yes, he has a cell phone, however for some strange reason, the clock on his cell is somehow forgotten about.

Then I was introduced to a site called Blue Dial. It has so many watches that are "in style" at extreme discounts! Click here to view a bunch of their casio G-shock watches.

Personally, I think my son could use this one:



It has a leather strap and also has an ALARM!!! Yes, just what he needs so that he can check in on time. Hmmmmm.... Christmas is coming....maybe if he's good, he'll get one.

Are all teenagers so picky and sassy? If I ever spoke to my parents the way he speaks to me sometimes, I would have gotten grounded our back-handed! I must admit, it is partly my fault...I take partial blame, but he is 17 now and he needs to learn responsibility. That includes checking in on time! Without lip! It's always: "Mom, why do I have to check in every hour and a half??? My friends don't have to check in at all..." I tell him that I am an involved parent and until he turns 18 and moves out on his own, he is to follow the house rules; which includes checking in on time.

I think he wants out of the house because it hurts him to deal with his youngest brother's syndrome, even though Little M looks "normal," the Big T knows that Little M is sick. I also think it has a lot to do with the fact that he is a teenager. It is what I call the "Me, Me, I Syndrome." He always tells me: "I am the son (sun), so you should revolve around me." How arrogant is that?? As if I didn't have enough to deal with already.

I digress, the short of it, Big T needs a watch to tell time so he knows when he needs to check in! I'll be shopping around for Christmas...if, and that's a BIG if, he behaves.

Stefanie

Monday, September 14, 2009

Just for this...

I just do not have the words for how I am feeling about the new developments with my Little Meryck. Then I received this email from my beautiful niece and it has touched me in a way I can't begin to explain. I hope it touches you the same way it touched me. Thanks Bean! I ♥ you!


*Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

*Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

*Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

*Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck and I will buy you one if he comes by.

*Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

*Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

*Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

*Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

*Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

*Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

*Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

*Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

*I will think about the mothers And fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

*And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask Him for nothing, except one more day!


Stefanie

Monday, August 31, 2009

When will I wake up from this....

Saturday before last, I went to the ER and I was told I had a "complex migraine," severe dehydration (still not used to Vegas heat, but carry water with me all the time now), and a severe flair up of my fibro. I was feeling a little funny on Friday afternoon, but I still pushed myself to go to work. As I was tripping over myself at work, even my co-workers noticed that I wasn't well. But still, I pushed forward. Saturday came and I couldn't even get up off the couch, my depth perception in my vision was off. I felt like I had one hand over an eye when I was trying to look at something, yet I had both my eyes open. Not only that, but my equilibrium was off. I had my son release my shift online (because we had online scheduling at Outback) saying that I was going to the emergency room. The hospital drugged me up and sent me home. The next day, I went to check too see what time I had to work, because yes, the glutton for punishment I am, I was going to go to work when I noticed that my schedule had been removed.

I sent an email to the bosses and told them what happened and that I had guessed that I was fired. The owner said that I could come back if I wanted. The other manager (who creates the schedules) wished me luck in whatever I decided to do. I wrote another email to the owner and told him some things that were going on with my schedule and didn't get an email back, so there went my job...Now I'm looking for a new job and have a wonderful prospect at Chili's, I just hope I get it.

As far as my little man, he neph said that it doesn't look that good and this Wednesday we are getting a kidney function test done to see exactly where the damage is. The thing I like about this neph is that this time they are going to sedate Little M! Yeah for that, but then I have to watch him for a couple of days afterwards since they need to cath him for that test. The time before last, when they cath'd him, I had to rush him to the hospital because he stopped peeing completely. That's when they put a cath to stay then he had surgery in his bladder and the docs put a tube coming out of his bladder it was collected in a urinary bag (suprapubic tube). That was a nightmare of a year!

It's so hard to keep thinking positively sometimes, but I force myself to. I do it, not for myself, but for my children.

We also had a fiasco the first day of Kindergarten with Little M because his pre-k teacher didn't let the K teacher know what is required for Meryck and I had to give her a crash course in it. However, what good did come out of it, was that I called the principal directly and told him what was going on. Next thing you know we had a 504 meeting planned within 2 days. What's even better is that we addressed both of my children and got both of them on a 504! See a silver lining in everything!

Things can get rough, but I will persevere! I will push forward, not matter how much pain I am in. I need to. My children (and now new puppies) are the driving force behind my persistence and determination....

Did I mention my desktop crashed??? Yeah, well, what can you do about that except get a new one. When that will be, who knows.



Stefanie

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Not such good news....

So, today we went for an ultrasound for Meryck's kidney and bladder. Let me give you a little insight as to what I saw...
Here is an ultrasound picture of his kidney in April of this year:



Here I have tried my best to recreate the new damage on his kidney from the ultrasound taken yesterday. (The ultrasound images from yesterday are on films instead of cd's like the one that was taken in April, so I doctored it as best I could to show the difference.)



We await the doctors visit next week for him to see what our next steps are going to be.....


Stefanie

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Here we go again...

Here I go again...feeling down. What's up with that?? I'm usually so upbeat and always a happy-go-lucky kind of gal. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the school took the IEP off of Little K. That was a hard blow. He's so smart and although his autism is on the less severe side, it has taken a LOT (and I mean a lot) of work to get him where he is...will taking his IEP away slow down the progress?? They give him a donut to sit on and a band for his chair so he is comfortable (he has this thing about sitting on a hard floor, he just won't do it). They say they won't take it away, but without an IEP, how is the new teacher going to know he needs them, or how are they going to justify letting him have them. The good news about him is that they are going to suggest that he go in to a super advanced class for 3rd grade, but that's not until after next school year. He's so intelligent, it's almost sick. He is 3 points away from being considered a savant child (and I think he was just tired of testing when it was administered to him). His school counselor said she had never, in her 15 years of being a school counselor, worked with a child or known a child with an IQ as high as Little K's.

Maybe it also has to do with my little Meryck...an ultrasound is coming up on Tuesday and I am super nervous about it. The doctor's said that if his hydronephrosis stays the same or gets worse, then we may be looking at another surgery. He has these dark, yet red circles under his eyes, which also makes me very nervous because I know he doesn't have allergies. We are testing him for cancer. It's not uncommon in Prune Belly children, it's actually more prevalent. He's not drinking enough, even though I push fluids, he's not peeing enough, even though I constantly remind him too.

Then there's the teenager. I just don't know what to do with him...I love him so much, maybe a little too much... My DH says I'm too soft on him, but I know I'm not. I think he feels lost. We moved at the end of his Jr. year in high school, he doesn't have any real friends out here, he sits in his room all the time on the computer and I have to constantly remind him to do his chores. He's not eating well, I just feel in my bones something is up with him. This is the child I grew up with, the child that has taught me so much, my rock, my one constant. I want so badly for him to talk to me, and sometimes he does, but sometimes he shuts me out and it hurts. I know it is typical for teens to shut their parents out, I get that they think that parents' rules are lame, I remember being a teen myself, but I've always striven to be a better parent than my own parents. I want more for my children.

I know there are so many other parents out there that have special needs children that have much harder lives than mine. My heart goes out to all of them. I'm told all the time how strong I am, but really, am I? Many people tell me what a great mother I am, but why is it that I always feel like I could be better? Some people tell me they admire me, but why? Because I do what I have to do for my children and family? Wouldn't any other mother do the same? What is there to admire about that?

In trying to get out of this funk, I've decided to list a few things my kids have taught me and some things I am grateful for, so let's see what I can come up with...

1. My kids have taught me patience, and a lot of it. I used to pray for patience, but I don't do that anymore. Why you ask? Because every time I've prayed for patience, I get a lesson from God in patience. Now I ask for assistance in getting through a situation instead.

2. I have become a stronger woman. I stand up for my children and am their voice when they cannot be. I educate myself so that I know almost as much as the doctors so they cannot walk all over me or use my children. It is because of my children I am strong and it is for my children I am strong.

3. Perseverance. When I feel the options have run out, I am always looking to find more options even if I have to think "outside the box." I plow through the things that must be done, regardless of sleep, food intake, migraine, headache, loneliness...nothing matters but reaching the goal, whatever it may be for that day.

4. Humility. There are times when I need help, emotional, physical, mental...When I had my hysterectomy in 2005, I could not work for 3 months, my job laid me off and I had 3 kids to support by myself. Not to mention it was near Christmas. I went to churches for food for my children, had a now ex-friend move in with me so the children could be cared for (long story not worth getting into as to why she is an ex-friend). I made sure my children were cared for by just about any means I could.

5. Faith. Through this all so far, my faith is unwaivering. I do not ask "Why me?" I know why me...and this is why for any of us that have special needs children - You never will know true joy unless you know sorrow and you never know sorrow unless you know true joy. I know with all my heart that He will provide, no matter how hard times have been or will get. Hard times will not end for me, but I know He will be with me every step of the way.

6. Love. I love my children. My children love me. Just as my husband's job has to come first because he is military, so my children come first for me. They have to. Without their love, I would be lost. I am a mother, a true mother in all sense of the word. Being a mother is what I do best, what I am meant to be. Caring for my children is my life, sometimes to my own health's detriment.

7. I am grateful that God has loaned me my children. I pray every day that they will outlive me and they will grow up to be wonderful, caring men.

8. I am grateful my children picked me to be their mom. They must have known I would take good care of them, or God would've had them pick someone else.

9. I am grateful for a simple smile on my children's face.

10. I am grateful that Meryck hasn't had to have any surgeries in a little over a year.

11. I have learned to cherish every moment with my children. Not just because Meryck is sick, but also because I look at my teenager and wonder where the time went.

12. I have learned that it's the little things that make them happy. I took them to the store the other day to pick out a paint for their rooms and Little K picked the color for the little ones' rooms. It is a beautiful blue. I won't forget the smile on his face when I thanked him today for picking such a beautiful color.

13. Teaching an autistic child to tie his shoe is not an easy task.

14. I learned how to wash Little K's hair so it doesn't hurt his head (he is sensory sensitive and a basic wash bothers him).

15. I'm thankful I try to give my children as normal a life as possible. I do not use their special needs as a crutch, nor do I allow them to use it as a crutch either.

16. I've learned that being a mother involves a lot of teaching. Teaching how to take a shower without help, how to pick up a mess without making more of a mess, how to wash their faces properly, how to brush their teeth, how to look be optimistic.

17. I've learned how to speak a whole different English. I taught myself to speak positively, in other words, I don't ask them to stop unwanted behavior, I tell them to behave properly.

18. I've learned to practice what I preach. I use manners so my children will do the same naturally. I do not curse in front of the children because I don't want them to curse more as adults.

19. I've learned not to make promises unless I can deliver.

20. I've learned to point out more things my children do right instead of only seeing what they do wrong.

21. I've learned to look at the bright side of everything. There is always a silver lining, sometimes you just have to look harder than others.

I could continue, but I feel a little better and I really want to go spend some time with my teenager. I have a gut feeling he needs me, so I'm off. Thank you for anyone reading this rant of mine. My upset cannot shadow my children's needs...Things will get better....one day...

Stefanie

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Quote of the day:

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."

(I'm not sure who the author of this quote is...but it surely holds true in my household!)

Stefanie

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Celebrate getting older...

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

By Regina Brett...

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good..

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5.. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you..

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28.. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.....

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44.. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift..


Thanks Dad, it's always nice to be reminded! ♥ you!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Stefanie

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Momfinitions! Language of a Mom...

ParentsConnect.com has asked some of us blogging Mommies through a contest at Twitter Moms to share some of our Momifinitions by writing a post on our blogs with our funniest five Momfinitions including a description of their meanings. I thought this was a great idea since there are so many I have used over the years (with the oldest being 16), I knew I had some pretty great ones to share.

As a parent of 3 boys, my momfinition list could be pretty long. I have had 16 years of creating words and phrases that my children have learned and completely understand that are not in the dictionary. Please allow me to share few with you...

There are countless times when my children walk into the bathroom while I was using it. Why don't I lock the door you ask? Well, because I feel that if an emergency happens, perhaps I would be able to run out the door with my pants around my ankles...probably not such a good idea, but you never know what could happen, especially with my kids...hence how one of my best momifinitions came about -

Mushbeard [mush-beered] - a combination word of mustache and beard which describes what a woman's private parts look like. How it came about? One of my children walked in on me while I was pulling my pants up and said "Mommy, you have a mushbeard down there!" That is what we call my private parts now, although we do use proper terminology for boys because of my youngest's sons condition.

My middle child likes - no HAS to touch everything (it's his autism), and it can get pretty frustrating when he is near me picking up the stapler, eye-balling my ever-growing paper pile, opening the drawers on the office supply organizers we have, he just wants to touch everything; and so I began another momifinition -

Nachos [na-chose] - This term means that what you are touching is not yours and it's implication is to put it down immediately. As soon as one of my children begin to grab at something that does not belong to them, I simply tell them "Nachos" and they hand it over.

Here's another one I frequently use -

Nonya [non-yah] - I use this when my children ask me questions with answers that are none of their business...such as -

Child: "What are you and Daddy talking about?"
Me: "Nonya."

Child: "What are you eating? (As I'm eating some chocolate which I don't often let them have, yet is my weakness.)
Me: "Nonya."

Have you ever been so flustered by your kids (for those that have more than one) that for some odd reason, you can't remember their name? This is, in my opinion, a momifinition that has been around for centuries, yet still used by many, many mothers -

Watsurname [wats-yor-name] - When a child is doing (or not doing) something that was told, it is an attention grabber in conjunction with a mixture of all your children's names. In my house, it is frequently used as "KyTimMer....watsurname....blonde headed child?" I add in the color of hair so that the child I am speaking to knows it is their attention I want.

The last one I will share with you is the one that is used in our home on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis -

Elephantitis-of-the-feet [ele-fant-ti-tus of the feet] - This is a condition my teenager has when he is coming down the stairs. Momifinition - heavy-footed steps that echo through the house when tromping anywhere.

Child - [tromp, tromp, tromp, tromp}
Me- "As usual, you have a case of elephantitis of the feet, please walk softer next time."

I'm even going to throw in an extra one that I have used for 16 years -

Buttwipes [but-wipes] - These are diaper wipes used for many different things. It originated with the use of wiping butts, but later evolved into an all-inclusive wipe including hands, faces, feet, ice cream on shirts, the list could go on.

Child - "Mom, I'm done going poopies!!"
Me - "Where are the buttwipes?"

Child - "My hands are all sticky!"
Me - "Well, go get the buttwipes."

They are great for travel with kids of all ages, especially long trips!

I hope you all enjoyed my Momifinitions! Now comment away on what you think of them, are they known to you and what some of your are!



Stefanie

Co-owner of Mom's Most Wanted

Thursday, June 18, 2009

How strong do I have to be.

So, I don't know what's up with me today. I'm feeling pretty blue. I shouldn't be, my kids are fairly healthy, my husband is great, work is good...what more could I ask for.

However, I keep thinking about my little Meryck. His kidney isn't doing so well. You'd never know by looking at him that he is and has been sick. It's a strange feeling when you look at your child and miss him. I don't know how else to explain it. I feel like I want to spend every waking moment with him. I don't mean it in a way to neglect my other children, but I feel like Meryck needs me. The teenager doesn't really need me (well, not as much) - I am here for him. Kyle needs me too, but differently. Kyle being autistic isn't the most lovey type of child. I will admit that he loves on me - and only me - he misses me when I'm gone - he doesn't like when I go to work, but overall, he is pretty independent when I'm home. Meryck, on the other hand is not. He is always by my side. It doesn't matter what I'm doing - cleaning, on the computer, watching TV, whatever - he wants, no it's like he needs to be by my side.

I look into his little eyes and see such an old soul. I wish everyday that I could fix him and his medical issues. I look at him and know all the things he has gone through and also know that there will be so much more that he will have to go through. My heart breaks and aches for him. I fully realize that my children are on loan to me - I don't "own" them...but Meryck...he's so...loving. My eyes well up with tears just thinking about him. Unless you have a child with Prune Belly Syndrome and Chronic Kidney Disease or a chronic, life-threatening illness, you won't know what I'm talking about.

My heart is filled with fear because of the knowledge I have that I may not see my baby grow up. I could very well lose him. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy every day I have with him. I give him as normal a life as I can. I play with him. I love on him. I cherish him. I cherish all my children. It just so happens that Meryck is the baby, my last baby, my cuddle-bug, my cling-on...

I don't use the word "hate" much because it is such a strong word, but I hate that he has only one kidney and it is going bad. I hate that he has to get blood drawn every 2 months. I hate that he has had several surgeries. I hate that he has to have tons of testing done on him. I hate that I might lose him!

I don't like being blue. Usually, I will hold it inside until it goes away or just ignore it and keep living, but I just can't shake it today. My baby, my sweet love...

If anyone reads this, please pray for Meryck. Please pray that he live a long and happy life.

I've lived through some pretty horrific things, but how strong do I have to be...



Stefanie

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Win a blog revamp!


I found this awesome site designer over at Gisele Jaquenod & Birdie and she has such fresh ideas for blog makeovers and web design creations!

Check out some of her work here:



She is awesome enough to offer a blog revamp! You can enter for your chance to win here.

As you know, I am co-owner of Mom's Most Wanted and my partner and I have been throwing around the idea of revamping our blog, make it a little brighter and cheerier, so when we saw this giveaway, we decided we had to enter it! We think that Gisele would do an awesome job revamping Mom's Most Wanted.

Thanks Gisele for offering this GREAT prize! Here's hoping with my fingers crossed!


Stefanie

Friday, June 5, 2009

I want this too!

Bring Nature to your backyard… win a Nature Station Playhouse ($249.99) at Momma's Review and Ordinary Life!





I would love to win this! I adore Step 2! Their products are so well built and are extremely functional for kids! Head on over to Momma's Review and Ordinary Life for your chance to win! Good luck!

Stefanie

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Now, this is love!

I've always loved this story and thought I'd share it with you...


A Newborn's Conversation with God



A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow,
but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have
to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you.
And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand
when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words
you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will
teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach
you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach
you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth
could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave
now, please tell me my angel's name."

God said, You will simply call her, "Mom."


Stefanie

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Jokes that can be told in church...

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in
white?'' The mother replied, 'Because white is the color
of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her
life.' The child thought about this for a moment then said, 
'So why is the groom wearing black?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running
as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible
class.
As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me
be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!'
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb
and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her
dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started
running again! As she ran she once again began to pray,
'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...but please
don't shove me either!'

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their
fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few
words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give
him $50..'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a
few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they
give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a
sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the
money!'

~~~~~~~~~~~~

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married ,
she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten
instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They
wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want
them to take me out when I'm dead.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would
you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He
answered, 'Call for backup.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and
Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem .. A small child
replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds. After
explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy
mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' Without
missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not
kill.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created
everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed
especially intent when they told him how Eve was created
out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as
though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the
matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my
side. I think I'm going to have a wife..'

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after
hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the
other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus
turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow
old because you stop laughing! I thought you would
enjoy this....times are tough right now.....for all of
us...so we need something to make the day a happy place.
"They" haven't found a way to tax you for laughing yet.



Stefanie

Thursday, May 28, 2009

What Religion is Your Bra?


A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's

and shyly walked up to

the woman behind the counter and said,

'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '

' What type of bra?'

asked the clerk.


'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'
' Look around,'

said the saleslady,

as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour

and material imaginable.

'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from .'

Relieved, the man asked

about the types.

The saleslady replied:

'There are the Catholic,

the Salvation Army,

the Presbyterian,

and the Baptist types.

Which one would you prefer?'


Now totally befuddled,

the man asked about

the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded,

'It is all really quite simple. ...


The Catholic type supports the masses;


The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;


The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;


The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.'



Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used

to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why,

but couldn't figure out

what the letters stood for,

it is about time

you became informed!


(A} Almost Boobs... 
{B} Barely there...
 
{C} Can't Complain!....
 
{D} Dang!....
 
{DD} Double dang!...
 
{E} Enormous!...
 
{F} Fake...
 
{G} Get a Reduction...
 
{H} Help me, I've fallen

and I can't get up!...



They forgot the German bra.


Holtzemfromfloppen


Ok, ladies, time to get a breast exam or your mamograms! Take care of them!


Stefanie

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Matthew 10:32



No one 
falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.

No one 
stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.

 

And no 
one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE

 



 


Matthew 10:32...
'Whoever acknowledges Me before men, I will acknowledge him before My 
Father in heaven.  But whoever disowns Me before men, I will disown him
before My Father in heaven.'
Stefanie

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Here's some all natural advice!

Here are some natural remedies that seem much better than spending an arm and a leg on medicine for. Thanks Mom! Go Green!



Eliminate ear mites ... All it takes is a few drops of Wes son Corn Oil in your cat's or dog's ear, massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites and accelerates healing. 

Kill fleas instantly ... Dawn Dishwashing Liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Good-bye fleas. 

Rainy day cure for dog odor ... Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh. 

Did you know that drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately - without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional pain relievers? 

Did you know that Colgate Toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns? 

Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose. 

Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 tablespoon horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as amassage oil for instant relief for aching muscles. 

Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria. 


Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly - even though the product was never been advertised for this use. 



H
oney remedy for skin blemishes ... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid over it.
 Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile and speeds healing. Works overnight. 

Listerine therapy for toenail fungus ... Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine Mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again. 

Easy eyeglass protection ... To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear Nail Polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them. 

Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer ... If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly. 

Smart splinter remover ... Just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue-All over the splinter, let dry and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue. 

Hunt's Tomato Paste boil cure ... Cover the boil with Hunt's Tomato Paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head. 

Balm for broken blisters ... To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerinea powerful antiseptic. 

Vinegar to heal bruises ... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process. 

Quaker Oats for fast pain relief ... It's not for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain. 


Stefanie

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Wordful Wednesday


Grandma's Hands - author unknown

"Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.

When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK.

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," she said in a voice clear and strong.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands," she asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?"

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands I thought, as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related this story:

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child, my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.

They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.

They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and my spouse. They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.

They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day, when not much of anything else of me works real well, these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life. But more importantly, it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when He leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ."

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home.

When my hands are hurt or sore, or when I stroke the face of my children or husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God. I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.


I sure do miss your hands Abuela!

Stefanie

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Hazlenut tree

My mother sent me this email and I thought it was pretty cool, so I decided to share it with you all! Enjoy the fun!

WHAT TREE DID YOU FALL FROM?  

Find your birthday and then find your tree. This is cool and pretty accurate. 

Find your tree below and see what you are like ...
Dec 23 to Jan 01
Apple Tree
Jan 01 to Jan 11
Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24
Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03
Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08
Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18
Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28
Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10
Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20
Lime Tree
Mar 21 (only)
Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31
Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10
Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20
Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30
Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14
Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24
Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03
Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13
Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23
Fig Tree
Jun 24 (only)
Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04
Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14
Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25
Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04
Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13
Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23
Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 01
Pine Tree
Sep 02 to Sep 12
Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22
Lime Tree
Sep 23 (only)
Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03
Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13
Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23
Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11
Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21
Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01
Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11
Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21
Fig Tree
Dec 22 (only)
Beech Tree









































TREES (in alphabetical order)


Apple Tree (Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, And attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.

Ash Tree (Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.

Beech Tree (Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).

Birch Tree (Inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

Cedar Tree (Confidence ) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, Likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

Chestnut Tree (Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.

Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes What life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially in dependent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness ) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but  not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

Fig Tree (Sensibility ) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, sexually oriented, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.

Fir tree (Mysterious ) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.

Hazelnut Tree (Extraordinary ) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.

Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egotistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of the unusual, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind ) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

Oak Tree (Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

Olive Tree (Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

Pine Tree (Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self-esteem, needs affection and reassurance.

Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, un r est, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, sometimes egotistic, likes to get things done, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, uncanny flexibility, unique and uncommon partner, often admired, ingenious strategist, occasionally jealous, very passionate, rarely likes to compromise, most optimistic view..

Weeping Willow (Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh.


Stefanie

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