Crazy kind of giveaway...any takers?

I was sitting here speaking with a good friend of mine and a wonderful thought came to mind...how about I have a crazy giveaway. I'd like to give away my teenage boy. He is full of "bright ideas", is great at keeping his bed, the couch and his phone from flying away, he is very "outgoing" and has tons of "opinions". He comes with a blue-black frohawk, a couple of power ranger t-shirts, form fitting jeans and a "wonderful" attitude to boot. He is good at walking (away), riding his bike (away), and the latest and greatest running (away). He is very strong-willed and has an incredible way of standing his ground. He is very well liked, has "a way" of talking to people and an incredible selective memory. He is very clean (as in shower clean only). He doesn't require much... just (a lot of) food, space to sleep, bathroom, maid, cheauffer, human alarm, on call chef, video games, constant positive reinforcement and life must revolve around him. This child is not for the strong-willed person, he will wear you down. So, if you are weak, weak-minded, willing to give this teenager anything and everything he wants and have a lot of money (not for me, but for him to spend), then this is the teen for you...Any takers?